They put me in a fuzzy blue pigsuit and said, “Wrestle the pink cow.” (I never twisted his utters; and in mutual respect, he never twisted my titties.) I fought so hard against the boy in the cow suit that as he flipped me over his head and began to pin me fast to the ground, my legs were straight up in the air and I kicked fast, fast, fast…back and forth until I was able to catch my own weight and get my balance back.

After the first round in which I barely eke out the win using my Win Chung Kung Fu prowess and knowledge of the lower center of gravity that a female possesses, the boy cow hung his head and began to cry, “Rematch! Rematch!”

“Yes, rematch,” I agreed, and licked my little piggie chops.

I won both times.

Tags: wrestling

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