For the past month, I’ve been driving one hour each way every day from ABQ to Santa Fe and then on top of that working a twelve hour day. That didn’t leave much for doing anything except going to Starbucks every morning, high-tailing it to Santa Fe, working and coming home. It even hurt to stop and get gas . . . . which of course, I had to do quite often.

I noticed the beautiful countryside of the high desert on some days, but most days I was just inside my own head, hoping to get to work on time, dealing with lack of sleep or feeling a little miffed that I didn’t have any time to do any real life stuff. The beauty was surrounding me, but I never could be in the moment and actually enjoy it.

I will be going back to ABQ and most likely to Santa Fe as well at some point and I will enjoy all that the wide sweeping vistas of New Mexico have to offer. But for now, as I told myself while I was zooming away the hours on the freeway between ABQ and Santa Fe, constantly scanning for the numerous police cruisers that frequent the area, I am going to enjoy the lesson that my month long drive time taught me - - I have two whole hours of my life back every day!

Am I going to be working long hours in South Carolina? You bet your sweet shugar ass I will be. But the perspective on suddenly having two extra hours every day to do . . . well, whatever I want is not lost on me now. It is a gift.

I don’t want to jinx myself by proclaiming out loud what I will do with my new found time, but let’s just say that the results will show, besides I’m still figuring out the ‘what’ part. Case in point - I slept in this morning . . . . a needed and quite necessary use of that precious time.

The last couple of weeks have been a bit unstable. I knew I was moving, but wasn’t sure where or when or how . . . . my roommate and I finagled our way out of our lease, so whoo-hoo! I’m free to roam again . . . and that’s exactly what I’m going to do . . .

Sunday morning, Frank, the cat and myself will fly from ABQ to Columbia, South Carolina for a short bit of work. It’s going to be seat of the pants living at it’s best. We will be living in another fine hotel and may stay two weeks, maybe four and I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing or where I’m going after South Carolina. My stuff goes into storage in ABQ tomorrow and the car gets parked at the airport and I am done thinking about it all for a bit.

My granny’s 90th birthday party is in July, so until July, I’m not so worried about being in any specific place at any certain time. I’ve got lots of options, but as life has recently taught me - I have no idea what will pop up - and that’s OK - even exciting. Maybe Frank and I will kick it in Santa Fe for June, maybe Chicago, maybe LA, maybe Peru (ok, Frank can’t go to Peru). . . . maybe a shack in a redwood forest. Who knows?

I’m sad to be saying good-bye to G-unit so soon, but it’s time to move on . . . do what I do best. . . be an artist adventurer . . . keep livin’ the moments.

We all met, most of us didn’t know one another, a flash-mob created at 1:10PM at the Barnes and Noble in The Grove in LA. We each grabbed a book and began reading aloud while walking throughout the store . . . and on the escalators . . . and in the grand three-story balcony.

I was running late, and bustled into the store around 1:09ish, pushing past people, sliding in my flip-flops on the marble floors, bounding to get to the third floor. I had no idea which book I was going to grab, but I definitely knew it would be on the third floor. I didn’t know how many, if any, people would be here reading with me, I was listening for others, but didn’t really hear anything. I grabbed a book from a low shelf. It was a book of blessings. “Perfect, I thought, “It’s just what I need to be putting out to the world.”

And I began to read, and listen for others. I walked around, then sure enough brushed casually by a long haired tattooed dude who was reading Mien Kampf. Then I saw others. Then I heard others mumbling near and far, like constellations of mischeif, as I myself read as loud as I could. I noticed a couple of kids walking together arm-in-arm, reading aloud too.

The plan was to read out loud until about 1:30 or until getting kicked out.

We all continued to walk around Barnes and Noble, reading aloud and eventually we saw staff members and customers begin to look at one another like, “What the . . .?” And on we read, some were mumblers, most were just reading in a relaxed and normal way, like it was perfectly acceptable public behavior. I, on the other hand, was as loud as I could be reading poetic blessings into the air. . . a sustained theatre voice projected from the diaphragm, not screaming or anything, but definitely enough to cause people to notice. I wanted to be heard by the others, to help keep momentum going. I noticed a security guard coming near me, but he was actually going after one of the other men who were reading. It was odd, like he didn’t see me. Then a sales lady approached and said, “The customers are complaining, ma’am, you have to stop.”

I walked a couple of aisles over and commenced to the blessin’ again. Then as I rounded the balcony, I saw that security guards were escorting people out, so I put my book down. The kids were still reading and giggling. No one ever asked them to stop. I found a dear friend of mine, mumbling, but still reading. It was not yet 1:30. I hugged him, and walked out the door, glowing.

The others who’d been kicked out were standing in front. I introduced myself. They said, “Hey, wanna go for coffee?”

We did. And we planned the next shenanigan. Coming soon.

Jetting into LA last Friday, hours after quitting my job in Albuquerque, I needed a weekend ‘home’ in LA and didn’t even know it. Every moment was GOLDEN. Here are but a few highlights:

1. Running up Washington Blvd, the heaviness of the salty ocean air hits me like an old friend.

2. The door man at Hinano didn’t need my ID; he said, “Girl, where you been? I know them blue eyes. Get yo’ ass in there!”

3. Group hug after group hug from my Venice peeps while I caught a 3BB (three beer buzz).

4. 15-mile solo oceanside mid-afternoon bike ride on my yellow Schwinn, which I miss very much.

5. Riding my bike on Speedway in Venice just after sunset and running into at least 7 close friends within 5 minutes. That’s more than 1 friend per minute!

6. Being fed tri-tip and Austrailian wine at Theory with yet another group of awesome friends.

7. Dog-piling the couch to watch Lawrence of Arabia.

8. Being woken up at 4AM by a herd of drunks who landed near my couch.

9. The shenanigan at Barnes & Noble.

10. Taking a nap at my Mar Vista art studio.

Well, I started a new job today (yeah, already!) on a different movie, this one in Santa Fe. I’m working with people I’ve not worked with in seven years! And I had the best day!

I really enjoy crunching numbers, solving problems, speaking the language of numbers. It was nice to remember that.

And I was thinking all day about how perfect my weekend in Los Angeles was last weekend. I quit my job on Thursday, flew to LA on Friday, flew back to ABQ last night, Sunday, and drove to Santa Fe this morning and began working again right away. Life just constantly wows me. Highlights of LA coming tomorrow.

Wow, ironically, that title sort of sounds like a bad accounting pun, I realize, but here are the truths and the stats and the low-down and the what-for.

First, let me say that the past couple of months, even before I took this job, I kept finding myself in situations where I could and many times did use the power of my words to hurt, harm and invoke. I’ve decided not to do this here. Yeah, I’m human; therefore, I’ve got feelings and opinions and all that other drama whipping around inside my head about this whole entire shit-storm. But I’ve made a choice to not spread or perpetuate that poison anymore. This means that you, my dear readers, will not be getting the dramatic deets of my recent choice of unemployment.

The only thing worth mentioning is that I’m heart-sick that this job didn’t work out and I can only believe that my choice was the best for all involved; the proof I have of this is that here I am, sitting with this choice I’ve made.

So, here I am . . . Albuquerque has not been easy. I’ve been here about six weeks and in that time I’ve endured moving half-way across the country with a cat, getting asked to leave my new digs, living in a hotel, moving two more times, being really sick, getting news of my granny being really sick, car breaking down, (happily, but still heavily) getting the whammy news of my 100% sis-tah, and now, making the difficult decision to quit my job. Allow me to re-iterate. Six weeks! Endure has really been my word lately.

I give it up. I’m trading ENDURE for another word, a nicer word. How ’bout this for my new word: EXPANSIVE. (And no, I’m not talking about weight gain.)

I’m staying here in ABQ - no, not forever - ABQ isn’t my long-term bag, baby. Just for the terms of my lease. I have a great sublettor in my bungalow. Why not? Life’s my adventure. I’m here right now and I’ve got some shit planned and I’m in a beautiful part of the country. So, watch out world!

Special thank-you’s go out to all my friends who’ve given me boundless love, encouragement and support about my decision. You all know who you are and I could not have made it through this without your accolades, kind ears and non-judgemental boosts to my nearly broken spirit. You’ve all helped me find Anna again, and quite quickly, I must add.

Here’s a quote from Nan Terrell Reed about life. “They told me that life could be all I could make it, life could be fashioned and worn like a gown. I, the designer, mine the descision, whether to wear it with bonnet or crown . . . .” Or in my case, heeled boots, cute little dresses and occasionally a rhinestone-studded kitty-cat collar.

As promised . . . .

My wake up call was a couple of weeks ago - the evening I drove home from work actually believing that it would probably be a good idea to drive my car over the edge of the ravine and down, down, down into the dust and the cacti and the rattlesnakes below. At that moment, the mind-body connection subconciously kicked in and my foot hit the gas pedal and the steering wheel kind of stuttered in my shaking hands. And I knew then that I was in potentially big trouble. Then my inner voice gave stern warning, “Sister, you’d better watch yourself, because it’s easier to make this kind of thing happen than you might think . . .”

And, I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’ve been crying alot in the past few weeks. Uncontrollable, spastic, choking on my own long hair kind of heaving sobs. My mother suggested I get on Vitamin P, but popping anti-depressants is not an option for me. When I wasn’t crying, I was doing everything I could to paste a fake smile on my face and not crack up into tears.

There’s alot I don’t remember from the past few weeks. Blank spaces of time. That’s when I was angry. I’ve also been very, very angry . . . just a blind kind of rage that I certainly didn’t recognize as . . . . ME.

Then I began to envision myself ‘falling’ down flights of stairs . . . . and I knew. Something had to change. What was causing all this stress in the form of facial twitches, a strange rash in the area of my third eye chakra and chest hives?

My job, that’s what. So, I did the only thing I could do. The scariest thing I could imagine. In Eleanor Roosevelt’s words I did that thing I thought I could not do. I quit my job.

Yes, it was scary. This coming from a girl who has spent the night in the middle of jungles with marauding panthers. But in order to be reborn, one must first suffer a small death.

Those first moments were the most difficult ones after I hung up from that late-evening phone call on Thursday night to my boss. The fear creeped in, but I saw it creeping in. And so, I just began to say “Thank you, thank you, thank you . . . ” over and over again with outstretched arms toward the kitchen window and the fear melted away and I had a private conversation with the universe and I re-programmed my mind to know and believe and live with the absolute knowing that not only was everything going to be OK, but that everything would be indeed wonderful and beautiful.

At that moment, I looked down and realized I was wearing my New Person Being Born monkey shirt. I began to run around the house, yelling, “New Person Being Born! New Anna Being Born!”

I have so much to be thankful for on this Good Friday. All signs point to great things. Today I hit my “Re-Set” button.

First of all, today is the Vernal (or spring) Equinox. In some religions and cultures the Vernal Equinox is the new year. I’d like to think that this is my new year. Today is the full moon. Big energy in the full moon coupled with the Equinox and the shift in season to spring and growth also make this a great day.

But today is the day that my life is coming together, congealing and coalescing here in The Burque. By the end of today, I will no longer be homeless or car-less. By the end of today I will be living in a sweet fucking condo in a hip part of Albuquerque with a rockin’ roommate and my cat. I have not been this excited about a place since I found my bungalow in Venice. I pick up my car in one hour, pack my stuff and move in today.

Ahh, and I have today off, so I can move in properly - slowly - relishing the opportunity to truly settle, something I’ve not done in months.

Yesterday morning had all the makings of what could have led me to have a bad day.

I was crabby because I left the hotel late to drive to work, forgetting the face to the car stereo and then when I arrived to the gate, there was a line of cars waiting at the guest guard shack. Why did I pull up to the guest guard shack? Well, because I just haven’t had time to go and get my ID photo taken. Now, I was late, my boss was in a meeting and I was supposed to pop into the meeting. At this rate, I wouldn’t make the meeting at all.

I waited in line at the gate for at least 20 painful minutes. Finally I gave in, did some deep breathing, put on my make-up and looked at the mountains all around me, but was still restless. The guard knows me and saw me squirming and brought me a pass. The office was all a-bustle when I blasted in the door, loaded down with purse and briefcase. I needed coffee - stat. To compound my frustration, I was becoming increasingly annoyed because my boot zipper caught the inside threading of my skirt, pulling sequins off and making me trip.

As I stood there, barely inside the door, frazzled and pulling at the snagged thread of my hippie skirt, trying not to fall on my face, someone began asking me questions about her paperwork and it was all I could do to say through a strained grin, “Can we please discuss this after I get in the door at least?”

I unthreaded my skirt at least five times before I got to my desk, I just know it. Where’s that coffee? Why’s there so much paper on my desk? Why is everybody asking me all these questions!!!! Argh! My fashion emergency was about to catapult me into the land of bitchiness. And all of a sudden, it came from nowhere.

Sitting at my desk, I began to chant, “I am going to have a good day,” very lightly at first and building with intensity until I was booming. “I AM GOING TO HAVE A GOOD DAY! I AM GOING TO HAVE A GOOD DAY.” My office-mate just kind of gave me a strange look. Someone dialed my extension from way down the office bullpen and said, “Hey Anna, Are you going to have a good day?”

“Yes,” I laughed. And I did.