I’ve been home exactly two weeks and one day now.

Every time I return from a long journey, I find that while I’m happy to be home, it takes a couple of weeks to get settled back into the life I temporarily left behind. And often the result is, unfortunately, that I get overwhelmed and completely freaked out about getting back to my old routine quickly. So much so,  that of course, I put writing off while I run around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to get things done, dammit.

Get the old Schwinn beach cruiser fixed – there’s always something wrong with it when I come home and if I don’t get it fixed, then I resort to walking everywhere instead, which is fine, but it takes a lot longer to get from place to place.  And don’t forget, I’m trying to get things done. Get doctor and dentist and acupuncture and vet appointments in – make that insurance work for me, ’cause I never know how much longer I’ll have it.

And deal with the broken furniture, there’s always some broken furniture that needs to be fixed when I get home. This time it’s my armoire. So, I’m not using it right now. The result is a giant pile of clothing on the floor in my cramped bedroom. When I can’t find clothes to wear, it’s difficult to get motivated in the morning.

This time when I got back home from being gone for so long, the need to purge a lot of possessions has been one of the highest priorities on my list. I’ve been stacking up books, gadgets, art supplies, clothes and anything I can find that I haven’t used or won’t use anytime soon and carting everything out the front door. The curb is my friend – along with the thrift store. And I had a giant yard sale. That helped.

And don’t you know it, the second I return home from a long journey, my body says, “Nope, sorry, I’m the one who’s taking a vacation now.”   So, I spent all last week lying in bed barely able to breathe from a nasty head cold, but I did manage to finish reading an entire novel and that was nice. I don’t think I’ve ever gone through an entire box of kleenexes like that before. I’m back to the land of the living now and just have no idea where to start . . . “can’t find clothes. Can’t put clothes into broken armoire, oh fuck it, I should just go on a bike ride, but oh yeah, I’m naked” . . . that’s kind of my thought process.

So here I stew in a swamp of clothing, papers, errands and doctor visits. I want to get it all done now. I can’t. I accept it. But there is a sense of urgency, because although I have not formally announced the destination – I’m heading off in about six weeks on another very long journey. I’m excited about it, but need to get a lot of things done before jetting off again, so I’m also kind of stressed. I’m trying to enjoy Venice as much as I can while I prepare to leave again. It’s a strange dichotomy and I find I’m not really able to enjoy sliding into the chill Venice groove while at the same time feeling the hustle and go-go-go of impending departure.

I just try to smile as much as I can and be thankful instead of bitchy, grateful instead of impatient and happy instead of overwhelmed. Gosh, these palm trees and blue skies certainly don’t suck. I have wonderful friends, opportunities and resources in my life. And as my acupuncturist made me realize today – I do know exactly what I want and I’m damn lucky for that because there are a whole lot of people who wander through their entire lives and never know exactly what it is they want.

Yeah, and I’m trying to breathe more too. I’ll keep ya’ll posted on that.

It’s a new movement habit with myself and a few of my other thirty-something girlfriends. We sit together, drink tea and bitch about how much money our IRA’s have dumped in the last quarter. There is always a napkin, usually cloth because paper is so less environmentally friendly you know, to daub crumpet-crumbed mouths. And you’d better believe there is a stack of coasters on hand to protect the expensive mahogany Edwardian secretary desk with the satinwood inlay from accidental water marks.

We know the best Feng Shui masters in all of Los Angeles. We exchange both plant cuttings and hair color advice. We sup wine and eat exotic Thai from down the street on china plates that we’ve inherited from our grandmothers. The hiring and firing of plumbers, fine chocolates, adrenal fatigue and the best way to gracefully quit a job are topics of late. To meet with my friends over tea after being gone so long is comforting, but there is, at least with me, a pervasive air of unsettledness and restlessness.

I really try to suppress the desire throw rocks at the annoying kids down the street or howl at the yuppie assholes to walk away from the Pink Berry, back slowly away from the hundred-dollar t-shirt store and get the fuck off my unfortunately-ever-more-gentrified Venice sidewalks. I try not to focus on Wal-Mart, the economy, the election – all of it encapsulated within an unending media circus that just gets me more and more distracted and annoyed and cranky and feeling all helpless and well . . . part of the manipulated, depressed sheeple (part sheep, part people) faction of society.

It’s my goal to put that angst into some other more responsible, creative and gratifying outlets. So forgive me that I’ve been gone from blogging for a few weeks. I’ve just really not been too much fun to be around. I’ve been giving myself an AnnaTude adjustment.

Then I realize I’ve been on the road for a solid year. One entire year! And I take a big sigh and get all overwhelmed with catching up on all the dumb life stuff awaiting me now that I’ve returned home. Boring shit like doctors, the vet and taxes.

Yesterday I was at my favorite thrift store in Venice, The Bible Tabernacle Thrift Store, donating stuff back to them that I’ve carted out of there over the years. I was so happy to see that they were still in business and still had the same funky style even though the grungy ole beer store next to them has been remodeled into Lincoln Ave Fine Wines and a Whole Foods megaplex has taken over the defunct Big Lots space in the stripmall down the street.

John, the unassuming guy who runs the Tabernacle, perked up when he saw me walk in the store. “I haven’t seen you in wow, how long has it been . . . ? Did you have a good time on your journey?” he asked.

“Well,” I replied, “It’s been wonderful and tough sometimes, too . . . but in the end it was everything a good journey is supposed to be.” Then a smile crept across my face again. And it hasn’t left yet.

Then I realize I’ve been on the road for a solid year. One entire year! And I’m smiling still and grateful, because it has been an exciting year and I am living a dream.